Throughout the course of my life, I have come to the realization that honesty is not the kindhearted, gentle, and heartwarming, easy, virtue we often want it to be.
I’m referring to the kind of honesty that has no room for what is fabricated, with depth that shines a light into the darkest areas of our lives that we often try to hide at all costs.
For you it may be an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or pornography, an eating disorder, past sin that you’ve tried repressing for years, an affair, depression, suicidal thoughts, fear, etc. I know I definitely have hidden junk—viruses— that corrupt and spread altering my effectiveness as a child of God. I’m the champion at hiding and putting on a facade hoping to trick everyone into thinking that I’m just as normal as the next person.
I get it: Its just not glamorous to tell people about our pain, addictions, and weaknesses so our efforts are focused on finding simple “solutions” or “masks” to hold us over until we are alone with our brokenness for no one else to see. The hiding, the avoiding of our the issues does absolutely nothing but fuel shame and guilt creating a separation between us and our heavenly father. Failing to be transparent and honest is like putting a blindfold over our own eye that keeps us from seeing and receiving the freedom that Jesus has graciously given to us through his death and resurrection.
Choosing honesty is willingness to be transparent with those you love even if the reality of whatever it is your hiding causes heartache. Through the act of transparency, we have the assurance that we must face temporary pain to avoid future suffering. Yes, I am aware that showing the most horrible aspects of our being leaves us naked and uncomfortable but transparency is taking a crucial step freedom from bondage. Choosing honesty or transparency or vulnerability is an acknowledgment of our own human weakness. It’s an act of surrender: accepting that whatever junk pollutes us is wrong and dark and needs to be dealt with with the help of Jesus.
I encourage you to find someone who you can trust with your transparency. Someone who will listen and love you through whatever you are hiding.